✨✨When Resistance Shows Up – Don’t Lose Heart!✨✨
I don’t know about you guys but its been an interesting time since the 11:11:11 gateway!
But as it often does the energies started affecting me prior to the event. I found resistance and fear showing up in my world quite intensely after a relatively calm period following the eclipse gateways.
I was going the work and really connecting to my guides, opening my heart more and more and committing to my ascension process. During the period prior to the 11:11:11 gateway I found myself having many different synchronistic events and messages about removing my masks etc. and one of them was joining a beautiful radiant soul Deva Raj’s latest online kundalini program around ‘Breaking the Mask’ an 11 day sadhana to remove our masks. Perfect I thought and signed up straight away. We show commitment to our truth by taking action in relation to our hearts guidance.
I felt really strongly drawn to completing this program and prior to the program as with many of Deva’s online programs I had completed previously, I prepared myself the night before by watching the first days videos to get a feel for the meditation I would be doing for the next 11 days. What happened next I did not expect….
I had massive resistance to actually doing the meditation.
Resistance showed up in so many ways. I found a million and one other things I ‘had’ to do. My normal routine of getting up and doing my kundalini yoga went out of the window entirely and I had many negative thoughts creeping into my mind initially around the breathing technique and how long it was but then more general around fear and low self-worth.
‘I don’t like this’
‘I can’t do this’
‘I don’t need this, I’ll wait for an easier sadhana’
‘Who am I to help people?’
‘I’m a fake!’
‘I should just go get a ‘normal’ job!’
So I found myself having to do a lot of internal work on myself as I realised that it wasn’t just this particular practice that I suddenly had massive resistance to but spiritual practice in general.
Everything ground to a halt. Until the other morning when I hit complete overwhelm!
I had to leave the house as I felt like a pressure cooker about to explode.
I went to the horses field nearby, sat on a rock and sobbed, allowing all the density to flow from my body down into the Earth. I started to feel lighter and realised just how much I had been holding in. I had disconnected, my heart had closed and I was holding everything in until it became impossible to hold any longer.
Whilst walking home I had an amazing experience with a Birch tree – I felt such exuberance and joy and so utterly connected to every tree, grass, plant and the Earth as a whole. It was magical and wiped away all sense of the negative thoughts that had previously been running rampant through my mind.
I felt drawn to starting the sadhana practice yesterday so today I am on day 2. Part of me thought, the next program is starting on Friday you can ditch this one then. But as I sat doing the meditation as best I could (without judgement) I thought no, I get to do this first and then follow with the next program after I have finished.
So that is what I commit to….
The journey with any program that is in alignment with your truth starts the moment you commit to it.
For me that was when I signed up to this ‘Breaking the Mask’ sadhana practice. In committing to removing my masks I triggered them all to appear, all my fears, old programs and beliefs to rise to the surface, for release.
But to release these programs we have to:
* allow ourselves to fully experience them
* acknowledge them
* own them and
* let them go
My journey for the most part has been traversed without the physical act of yoga taking place. I know however that the healing part can now commence with the use of the mediation.
I think the key thing for me from this experience is:
Don’t judge yourselves for ‘failing’ etc if things don’t look exactly as you had expected them too.
You will get out of everything you commit to, exactly what you are meant to.
Everything is exactly as it should be for you and everything happens in perfect timing.
No matter where you are on your journey, on your path from disempowerment to Sovereignty never lose heart!
You are loved, supported, guided and protected.
And you will get to exactly where you are meant to be.
Trust in yourself, your heart will guide your way home.
In Love, Light & Service 💕✨