I didn’t understand as a child what I was doing but felt drawn to taking peoples emotional pain away by placing my hands on them. I was very aware of people’s emotional fears and pain and had a very clear understanding that my ‘mission’ in this lifetime was to ‘serve’ and ‘help’ other people become whole. My ‘gifts’ were not understood or accepted by my family and those close to me and I was brought up to believe that I was ‘bad’ and ‘mad’ and would be locked up if I continued to openly use them. So at a very early age I chose to hide and deny my ‘gifts’ so that I could ‘fit in’ and feel loved.
Growing up I learned to deny my truth and hand over my power to all and sundry; following my parents dreams rather than my own, putting the needs, wants and desires of others above my own and living a life motivated by fear and far removed from my truth until eventually I found myself in a situation so wholly out of alignment with my ’Self’ that the Universe stepped in to realign me. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, having given my power away to such an extent that I was accepting a life of misery with no hope for a way out or the strength to even try.
Prior to the major cosmic intervention in 1996, where the Universe practically forced me to realign, the universe had constantly been nudging me, guiding me, offering me opportunities to realign to my ‘true north’ however I had often been too fearful to engage in them and when I did allow myself to lift the lid on the box I had locked my spiritual aspects in, I found myself triggered by my fear of rejection, ridicule and of ‘going mad’ that I shut the lid time and again.
During my life I have trained in many different healing modalities in alignment with my spiritual ‘self’, I am a qualified Crystal Healer, Reflexology and Reiki Master/ Teacher, Color Mirrors Practitioner I have also trained in Soul Realignment, Shamanic Healing, Angelic Healing and Spiritual Ascension.
In 1996 when I was at my lowest point emotionally, mentally and spiritually I ‘fell’ down the stairs and was temporarily paralyzed. My accident left me tetraplegic for a short period of time, after my sensation and motor function returned I then had a year of physical recovery and many years of emotions and mental recovery. All of which enabled me to fully review my life; my relationships, my beliefs and behaviors, the choices I had made. This episode of my life was one of the most positive and valuable experiences of my entire life. The time out from my daily normal ‘grind’ enabled me to fully review my life up to that point, acknowledge and own my part in it, taking full non-judgemental responsibility for the choices I had made and change my perspective on life in general and my further life in particular.
This process helped me reconnect to my truth, realize qualities about myself I had denied, reclaim and acknowledge some of my power and find the courage to make some major changes to my life. My relationship with my parents changed, I was able to express my truth openly and stand in my power, I left my abusive relationship and brought my son up as a single parent trusting that my needs would be met. I left the job I was in which was not in alignment with my truth but ‘paid the bills’ and completed a qualification in Counselling and retrained as an Occupational Therapist.
I made massive changes to my life which had an incredibly positive impact not only on my life but those around me. However I was still unable to fully stand in my sovereignty and reclaim my spiritual gifts and talents openly. The fear instilled in me by my parents of ‘being locked up’ or ‘going mad’ was still incredibly strong.
I worked in a ‘healing’ profession within the NHS in a corporate role for over 15 years moving from clinician and therapist to senior management and although this role was incredibly rewarding it did not enable me to be ALL that I am. I was able to use my intuition to guide my practice but was not able to openly express my truth and the messages I was receiving.
Due to the intense automatic program running through my psyche around ‘fitting in’ I only felt able to use my spiritual gifts and talents privately on my self and a small number of private clients. I maintained the feeling of hiding in the sidelines of my life and never fully taking center stage.
However this changed following the recent deaths of my parents. Although painful to experience, the passing of my parents released me from the perceived need to hide. I found myself questioning my identity and reason for being here. I went through another period of ‘dark night of the soul’ where I questioned everything and once again was drawn ever more strongly to realign fully to my truth and my life purpose.
After much internal healing work and spiritual development I allowed the final walls to come down and fully connect to my ‘truth’, to acknowledge and embrace ALL that I am and to use all the gifts I have to help others on their journey from dis-empowerment to standing in their sovereignty.
So, this is me, ALL of me and at your service.